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    4 Things You Need to Know About Using a Surrogate Mother

    27 November, 2017

    You might be considering starting a family and the many options available out there. Did you know the process of intravenous fertilization has an estimated 65% success rate? And the success rate for women under 35 is nearly 60%.

    This means opting for a surrogate parent is likely to deliver promising results.

    Let’s take a look at 4 things you need to know about using a surrogate mother.

    What Is A Surrogate Mother?

    There are two types of surrogates, traditional and gestational.

    Traditional Surrogate

    This surrogate is a female who receives artificial insemination with the father’s sperm. And she carries your child to full term and gives you the baby when they’re born. Then you and your spouse raise the child as your own.

    This type of surrogate is the child’s biological parent because her egg is used in the process with the father’s sperm. Donated sperm is also an option in this kind of surrogacy.

    Gestational Surrogate

    This surrogate is given in vitro fertilization, or IVF. This process allows the physician to combine your eggs with the sperm of the man who will raise the child. And this mixture is placed into the gestational surrogate’s uterus.

    The surrogate carries the child to term. And she has no genetic connection to the baby because it was your eggs growing inside her. The surrogate is commonly referred to as the “birth mother,” while you’re the biological mother.

    What Can I Expect From the Surrogacy Process?

    The surrogacy process has many ups and downs. And it’s important to arm yourself with information to help you better prepare.

    1. It May Be an Emotional Roller Coaster For You Both

    Although both you and the surrogate mother have agreed to the arrangement, unexpected emotions can still come up.

    Her Emotions

    If this is your surrogate’s first time, she may have some attachment hurdles to deal with. It’s important to be patient and supportive of her as she deals with these feelings.

    Your Emotions

    You might have unexpected feelings arise, as well. You may feel sadness, fear or a twinge of jealousy. These are all normal. And all fleeting if you allow them to come up and release them as they do.

    Show yourself the same patience you extend to the surrogate mother. Remember, there’s no right way to feel. Just embrace the total process.

    2. Things Are Never Orderly, Neat and Predictable

    The key to enjoying the surrogacy process is to challenge yourself to adapt to change.

    If this is your first baby, you’ll be required to meet a standard of flexibility you never thought possible. There will be hitches. And these hitches only become an issue if you cling to expectations for the process.

    Trust the process and know that it will all work out.

    3. Reading and Classes Will Be Your New Best Friends

    Perhaps you’ve been through many fertility therapies and other avenues of trying to get pregnant. And now you’re ready for the surrogacy process.

    Don’t forget, you can never be too prepared. Go by your local library, talk to your physician and sign up for classes.

    Gather as much knowledge and skills from others who have already gone through this process. It will make everything go more smoothly.

    4. No Matter How Strong You Are, You Need Support

    You’re a strong woman. We’re not questioning that.

    But there’s no substitute for good solid support. Don’t hesitate to request help when you need it.

    Ask your spouse, family, and friends to share in the process by shouldering some of the responsibilities. You can always repay the favors later on.

    Enjoying the Ride

    Whether this is your first time in the surrogacy process or you’re just considering it, you won’t be disappointed. It’s a ride you’ll never forget.

    If you’re looking for support in getting pregnant or interested in using a surrogate parent, check us out today.

    George Kofinas

    Read about the treatment philosophy of founder and medical director of Kofinas Fertility Group in New York, Dr. George Kofinas.


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